As a very young child, I have memories of rejecting patriarchy. Strong moments of identity definition when I was challenging my father’s foolishness and the women who submitted to it. Very particular moments of challenging my male teachers and their bias and control agents guised as “proper training”. They were dulling our girl senses, discouraging the development of athleticism, domesticating us, and not allowing us to be trained in self-defense. A girl or woman unable to defend herself physically and with arms is a rape waiting to happen. Period.
It took a whole movement for women to be empowered to learn how to protect their physical bodies and have autonomy over their reproductive choices. It took a whole era to be allowed to work and own property and it is going to take personal intention for most women to free themselves of regulated control guised as husband/boyfriend love and cultural protection.
We do not need protection. We need to be empowered, trained, prepared, equipped and paid what men are paid to do the jobs we do.
Breaking news!!! We are capable of provision and protection.
I spent my teens being intentionally defiant in high school, working my principal’s nerves as I challenged every rule he set that oppressed girls. My final act of defiance was wearing pants to graduation. He had previously informed me that if I wore pants, he would not “give” me my diploma. I decided to test him in front of a packed auditorium. I had earned my diploma. He wasn’t “giving” me anything. I not only wore pants, I wore lime green pants. The brightest pants I could find. They glowed under that white graduation gown and Principal Jones, shook his head.
I spent my twenties, proving to men in corporate America that I could and I did. Accepting job offers in Miami and Atlanta, requiring the companies who were recruiting me to pay every expense.
I spent my thirties, finding my way back to myself after religious rocks thrown by men from pulpits hit me on the head and caused temporary brain damage which resulted in the adoption of the belief that traditional marriage would work for me, in the name of Jesus.
I spent my forties, soaking in the lessons, and discovered the wonderful state of being and how it was essential to my growth and actualization to leave Jesus out of my selective stupidity.
As I approach 50 years of life, I am tying ribbons on the beautiful children I have raised, ready to gift them to the world and live out an elevated realm of freedom. My daughter has 4 more minor years with me, but she has decreed and declared, wherever I go, she goes. She is my wander companion. I am not leaving her, she says.
For the last few years, I have been looking for cultural examples of the brand of woman that I am. I found cultures and societies led by women who I believe a DNA trace just may link me. Lol.
Ghana specifically and China surprisingly. These are places we know to be hostile towards women globally, but when we pull back the bush and quiet the roar of the ocean and the sea, we will discover matriarchal societies that have thrived since the beginning of their time.
A careful examination almost lines up precept upon precept with my worldview, and I am comforted knowing my guiding principles were not shaped solely inside of my imagination. I have always been strongly opposed to cohabitation, especially when children are present, and in one of the communities I explore below, I get a glimpse of my view practiced as a real custom.
WHO KNEW? WHY DIDN’T I GET THE MEMO AT BIRTH?
I have never believed men were necessary for the proper development and guidance of children. I have found them to be great hindrances and wild distractions.
Their “egos” often prevent them from being suitable companions, let alone exceptional fathers. Most men are not the best they can be because their egos ran them away from the women who could and would get them to their best. They would not submit to her freedom therefore they chained and anchored themselves to themselves. Tragic.
Western civilization built the foundation of our societies on patriarchy and supremacy and has spent hundreds of years enforcing the broken, warped, and ineffective model.
A higher knowing has been guiding my perceptions, my identity, my being all the time. I have found solace in knowing that there is a physical community that I am a part of by kindredness, even if it is thousands of miles away. I have sisters to meet, and elder women to honor.
Warrior Women exist for real, for real.
They have always existed. Patriarchy has done a very good job of hiding them from us with the aid of religion and the man-imposed head of the New Testament church, Paul the Apostle. Paul was a converted Christian killer and after his conversion, he stopped killing Christians physically but kept up the practice mentally. The letters he wrote that were adopted by the Roman Council are largely in conflict with the teachings of Jesus.
As a serious Jesus Girl student, I have just about rejected all of Pauls’s letters. I am on a search for the letters Jesus wrote. Good luck with that, but for now; I will hold what is recorded as His words close to my heart.
Here are some interesting facts about two tribes of women that are fascinating!
The Mosuo are a small ethnic group living around China’s Lugu Lake in the provinces of Sichuan and Yunnan. Most Mosuo people celebrate a matrilineal culture, tracing lineage through the female side of the family
Technically, Mosuo culture is matrilineal, but many anthropologists classify the Mosuo tribe as a matriarchal society.
After a coming of age ceremony, Mosuo women are allowed their own private bedroom within the household in which they live; men are not afforded this advantage.
Though a Mosuo woman is allowed to change partners whenever she likes, having only one sexual partner is not uncommon. Typically walking marriages are long-term. During these unions, a woman may become pregnant by the same man multiple times. But when children are born, they become a responsibility of the woman’s family. Instead of marrying and sharing family life with spouses, adult Mosuo children remain in extended, multigenerational households with their mother and her blood relatives.
The practice of tisese allows Mosuo women to avoid the double standard that regulates women’s sexuality in other cultures. Women’s sexual behaviors are judged equally. Girls and boys alike are raised learning to express sexuality to the same degree.
The traditional Mosuo family and kinship affords women equality and agency over their sexual and procreative lives that is rare in most cultures. Romantic and sexual unions are governed solely by the woman and man involved. Other family members are unconcerned with the romantic lives of their offspring.
Mosuo women enjoy a freedom from reproductive demands that is unique among modern global cultures.
Though the practice of tisese is a traditional Mosuo practice, today many couples have redefined the term. Many choose to cement their intimate bond through a small ceremony during which, in keeping with the secrecy of nocturnal visits, a representative of the man presents gifts to his lover’s kin. After many presents have been given, the ceremony allows a man to openly visit his lover to assist with daily tasks or visit with her household. Still, whenever a man spends the night with a lover, even after such ceremony, he must return to his maternal residence in the morning.Walsh, Eileen Rose (2005). “From Nü Guo to Nü’er Guo: Negotiating Desire in the Land of the Mosuo”. Modern China. 31 (4): 448–486. doi:10.1177/0097700405279243. S2CID 143350053.
Sanday, Peggy Reeves (2003). Women at the Centre: Life in a Modern Matriarchy. Cornell University Press
Hua, Cai (2001). A Society without Fathers or Husbands: The Na of China. Zone.
The social organization of the Akan people is built around the matriclan. Within the matriclan, identity, inheritance, wealth, and politics are all decided. As the name would have it, matriclan founders are female. However, it must be noted that within the Akan Matriclan, men do hold leadership positions that women agree they should have.http://mmstudies.com/matriarchies/akan/
I cannot express how liberating the discovery of this information is. I am enthralled and anxious to see where I continue to land, or should I say fly?