4 the Culture

If I had to pick a televison parent closest to my parenting style it would be BERNIE MAC.

I am always amused when people comment on my parenting. I have had requests for advice, columns and even a parenting book.

When people say to me “you have amazing kids! What did you do?”

I know they do not want the answer. Society has labeled me an Authoritarian and I am not the least bit phased by it.

I am an OG Mama. As enlightened and progressive as I may be in some things I am very traditional in others.

I will give you a little bit of my Mama-ing for children under 18:

  1. I do not debate with people who wear pull ups.
  2. I do not argue with children.
  3. My Yes is Yes and my No is No. This isn’t a democracy.
  4. Because I said so.
  5. Close a door in my house and it comes off the hinge.
  6. You only need privacy because you want to do something you have no business doing.
  7. Light does not need privacy. Only darkness.
  8. Stump again and you will be on crutches.
  9. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
  10. Good grades is the standard. Average grades are for average people. You are not average.
  11. The parenting child relationship never expires. How old will you be when I stop being your mother? I will wait…
  12. Discipline is love. Not abuse.
  13. When I am talking to you, you look me in my face and acknowledge what I said.
  14. Too much for you? America is on the other side of the door. You are not a hostage.
  15. See that switch? See that belt? It has a purpose (little kids).
  16. My 6 foot 3 inch son, I will get on a ladder to smack the hell out of you.
  17. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
  18. Kids sit at the kids table. Grown folk are talking.
  19. Your pants are to be on your waist. If the pants have belt loops you wear a belt. This isn’t a negotiation.
  20. If you can do it in front of God, go for it. Go look in the mirror.

Parenting has to be intentional. It is not something that can be successfully done on the fly. I had a parenting plan that I wrote out and executed. My kids are valued, respected and loved. I cherish them. I do not have to demand to be respected. They honor my wisdom because I never let them believe that we were on the same level.

When I speak, I speak from a place of knowledge, wisdom, revelation and application. They speak from a place of “thinking it out” which is good but those are not equal places. We are equally valuable human beings but we are not equal. I am not perfect by any means and my children teach me so much. I have grown exponentially as a parent and as a woman because of our experiences. When I am wrong, I apologize to myself and then to them.

However; my responsibility as a parent is different from theirs as my children. I have to give an account for them. Naturally and spiritually and for this reason, I have established and maintained very clear boundaries.

Our New Age Wonder Society with all of its enlightenment has raised generations of disrespectful, unethical, dishonorable humans.

Kids in public are who they are at home. When we get home right, society is right.

This ain’t rocket science.

-Dana Lena’


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