Dear Son:

I am writing this open letter to you because I need to set the record straight on a few things and hopefully it will benefit other developing young men.

First of all, you are remarkable. You are the young man I envisioned you being.

Caring, considerate, responsible. Honest and honorable. Every one loves you because you exude love, kindness and a very gentle strength.

I raised you from my perspective. My lense. My worldview. I raised you to be the kind of man I would be pleased with if he was at our door for your sister.

I raised you to be the kind of man who would accommodate my brand of woman and I showed you my brand of woman.

I am self reliant and self guided but I do appreciate generosity and different views. I cook and clean. I sew and garden. I am a home maker and I sit in board rooms.

I am strong and assertive and I am tender and loving and I love you accordingly. I hug you at least 10 times a day but I did not hesitate to take a broom to your behind if I needed to. You were towering over me at 9 years old, I had to let you know what you needed to know. Do not play with me and at 19, 6’3, 280 (and still growing) you still know.

I want to believe I was the perfect combination of Tsunami and a gentle breeze. I show up equipped for the task at hand.

I raised you to honor women and to treat them with gentleness. Kindness. Never raise your voice or your hand. Ever.

If you are on a date, pay. Open doors, pull our chairs, hold their bags, free up her hands. Be good to her and require that she is good to you. She must be good to you.

You deserve to be treated well just like she does. Do not ever settle for being loved less than how you need to be and always love yourself up. No one should be better to you than you.

With all of this, I missed something. Every woman is not my brand of woman. Every woman will not embrace chivalry. Some women find it to be insulting and demeaning. Some won’t fry you an egg and will never make you a plate.

Therefore, you will need to be ready to adjust. You cant assume what she means or how she feels. Only the woman in front of you can clarify so you must be plugged in to her. I am so sorry son. You can’t auto pilot this.

Always be who you are but always pose the question “May I?”

May I pay for dinner? May I open your doors? May I hold your hand? May I love you?

See, it’s not that hard. Just ask her. Always give her the opportunity to express her needs and you do the same.

Every woman is different. Every woman will have her own flow, wishes, desires, demands as it relates to how she will be treated and what she will and will not do.

It’s not your place to debate it or judge it. The only thing you can do is honor her flow or move to someone whose flow you can. Find your compatible flow. Find the woman who sets your soul on fire without you having to give her the matches.

The key is light each other’s fire effortlessly and when that happens son, the rest in majical.

Love you,

Mom

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