I was recently asked why some of my recent writings and commentary explore polygamy and if I thought the exploration conflicted or contradicted with my Jesus Girl beliefs.
My writings do not not explore polygamy although after watching One Night in Miami, directed by Regina King, I Tweeted that how sweet it would be for a woman to have men in her life that bore energy similar to Malcolm, Sam, Muhammad and Jim.
Polygamy exists in very specific forms.
- Polygyny, wherein a man has multiple simultaneous wives.
- Polyandry, wherein a woman has multiple simultaneous husbands
This person who posed these questions to me is a fan of my She-Stories. These are creative expressions designed to open up the realm of women. Through my characters, I am able to change the limited narrative of woman and through my main character Jezebel; I am able to destroy stereotypes about who women are and are not.
To the question:
My personal preference for my life is monogamy. This is my preference because I love deeply, fully, without fear or filters. I bring my complete self to my partner. I speak from my heart. I touch from underneath the pores in my fingertips. I move from the floor of my soul. I give one hundred percent, one hundred percent of the time. So my output does not allow me to manage multiple lovers.
Someone would inevitably get less of me and I prefer to do all of me all of the time.
With that being said, there are times in life I have been unfaithful and those were times someone was getting less of me largely due to gross unhappiness.
It is not my ideal existence but I have had my “see him, want him, got him” moments and then there are those moments of pure curiosity.
However; In my heart of hearts, I am very much a one man girl. I am because that is who I chose to be not because someone has told me I have to be and at any given time if I make another decision, it is my decision to make.
Now, as it relates to my Jesus Girl, she is always a work in progress.
As I study the words and teachings of Christ, I do not see an obsession with our orgasms. I do see in the text a concern for our well being. The two instances I am currently examining when Jesus said anything about a woman and her sexual dealings was with the woman at the well, and the woman the Pharisees were trying to stone.
The woman at the well was broken and in a thousand pieces. Jesus was able to get her to see that what she was seeking in her multiple lovers could only be found in love for her creator and herself. What I see when I examine this passage is not necessarily and admonishment for the number of lovers but a call to heed her “why”.
When I created Jezebel, I had this account in mind. Jezebel is not seeking wholeness in her partners. She is not seeking validation. She is not broken. She does not have “trust” issues and she doesn’t need to be held at night.
Her sexual explorations come purely from a place of desire, or eros love exploration. It is a concept that many struggle with for women which is why Jezebel is so important to me.
The other account I have under examination is the woman Jesus rescued from being stoned for adultery. It speaks a lot clearer than the other. Her story is relevant because it exposes the hypocrisy of her accusers and the male bias of male translators.
One can’t commit adultery alone yet she was the only one presented to be stoned.
And there is a time when Jesus said nothing about a woman’s love life. That time was with the woman who had the alabaster box. The towns whore who Jesus did not rebuke but again protected as she lavished his head with oil and his feet with her perfume. He found delight in her presence.
Jesus found delight in the whores presence. Sit with that church folk.
As I see it, there isn’t any conflict in my writings…just deep critical thinking and the sharpened sword needed to behead patriarchy.
One story and one thought at a time.