I am a champion for companionship and covenant relationships. Equitable partnerships are beautiful and we benefit from suitable companions who positively contribute to our lives and I also take parenting very seriously.
There is nothing like the magic that happens when two people who are truly equals come together to rule, reign, war, love and produce.
As a woman, there is no greater joy than to birth blessings for my partner. There is nothing like taking the seeds he provides and producing a beautiful harvest. A harvest that reproduces time and time again. A harvest that not only feeds us but feeds others.
However; with that being said I do not have any further interest in legalized marriage. I made the decision shortly after coming out of my mothers womb that I would never adopt another mans name, neither would I be any mans property and no one would steer my life which is probably why I am a divorced happy woman as opposed to a miserable married one.
Now, do not get me wrong. Marriage works for some women; I am just not one of them.
There is a sense of ownership that men have over women after they become wives that simply does not work for me. I love being an individual. I love my space and the beauty, quiet and freedom that comes along with it despite what I say during moments of passion.
I cannot be trusted during those times. When I hit the floor, all bets are off.
I absolutely enjoy hanging out at his house, him hanging out at mine and this thing called GOING HOME. Going home allows me the opportunity to continue to cultivate my own space and grow without silly compromises, disruptions and interruptions.
Cohabitation is usually the response for struggling folk. Some people move in together because it is financially feasible to do so and not necessarily because it is the best thing to do. That is why I am always preaching how important it is for women particularly to be financially sound and thriving.
Another conclusion that I came to is that my little girl deserves to be FREE in her home. She may decide to walk around naked or with just a tee shirt and underwear on. That is a very important part of personal acceptance and body comfort that she is cultivating. Foreign male energy (not her biological) in our home would encroach upon that.
She also has the option to sleep in my room if she needs to, wants to or needs to . My bedroom door is never closed as it is my policy to entertain outside of the eye and ear gate of my children.
She will develop without having to burden herself with altering her being or behavior because Mommy’s man is always in our house.
Visit. Have dinner. Play some games. Watch a movie. Leave.
Sure, this puts a little inconvenience on the intimate realm of my relationship. It requires abandoning some things I would enjoy on a daily basis but when I made the decision to become a parent, I made the decision to put “human raising” over my pleasure.
Being a mother truly helps to put in perspective WHAT MATTERS MOST and what matters most is being free and ensuring that my little girl is free.
Especially at home.