In The Life of a Child

I woke up this morning especially grateful and reflective. Particularly reflective of my daughter’s relationship with the man that is her Dad.

Hannah is 12 years old. Her biological donation came from a person whose time spent with her sums up to a little shy of 12 months.

One may conclude that an absent males absence would present problems and deficiencies and maybe it does, in some children. I believe the answer, the counter to that is love. Just pure, unconditional, supportive, present love and a child can receive love from anyone and I was determined to fill my daughters heart and spirit with love.

This situation is not unique to my child. Millions of children do not have relationships with biological parents and some…for good reason.

Hannah was on the phone over an hour yesterday and I thought she was talking to her brother but when I confirmed, she said she was talking to her dad.

They literally talk for hours. She was telling him about her Winter Dance performance and as he was outlining getting here without getting on a plane, she said “No Dad. You can watch via Zoom”.

I love who this man is to her and for her.

They then went on and on about toxic relationships and domestic violence and how she deserves and will have a man in her life who honors her. Then I heard her reaffirm her promise not to date anyone until she was 31.


“Boys are a trifling distraction. They want to knock you up to tie you down. Earn your degrees, travel the world, know who you are and be free”.

She beamed as they talked and I beamed as I eavesdropped.

I am so thankful for the men who are not only step dads, god dads, adoptive dads but just Dads.

Men who are called into a child’s life and answer. Gleefully. They are helping to mold the Michelle’s, Stacey’s, Kamala’s, Keisha’s, Hannah’s of the world.

As I prepare to celebrate her 13th birthday celebration which will require him to board a plane in the thick of a pandemic he said 13 pandemics could not keep him away. This is exactly what every child needs in their life.

Love that will not be kept away.

-Dana Lena’


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