I am so happy to be on this plane. Due to rain, I was sitting at the gate for 3 hours, arguing with Bobby on the phone.
Long story short, he forbade me to take this trip. Told me he would not be at the house when I returned. That is fine with me. I take this girls trip every year but he fell out with Jezebel because the last time he saw her, she called him out on his bullshit.
She is my friend to the bone and she is tired of seeing me cry and quite frankly, I am tired of crying. She and Dyana are like my sisters. They hold me together and God knows, I need their superglue. He is not going to destroy our bond.
I chose them.
Finding that earring on the side of the bed really did something to me. I know Bobby cheats. I know all about his other women but I never thought he would bring another woman to my bed.
We live in my house. The house my grandmother left the family. She really left it for Mommy. It was supposed to be apart of her escape plan from Daddy but she never used it so after I graduated from Howard, I moved in and Bobby was right behind me.
I have been thinking about moving. I am tired of the Chicago winters. They are brutal. I am tired of the hustle and bustle of the city. I am tired of the noise. I am tired of my job at the firm. I am tired of Bobby taking me for granted and I am tired of not being loved.
I realized that I am not loved when I examined all the pain that I am in. The embarrasement this man has caused me and I wept like a baby.
I am not loved and in this moment, I am choosing to love me. When I return after this 10 day trip, I hope he is gone so I won’t have to put him out.
I chose me.