Jezebel: Who do I say that I am? (s3.j.1)

My Mama really did name me Jezebel. Let’s just say she was going through something at the time they asked her to complete my birth certificate form.

Jezebel was married to King Ahab and she was known to disregard his instruction and his leading. Rebellion against a prophet lead to her demise. She is known as the rebellious one and the name is Hebrew אִיזֶבֶל (‘Izevel), which probably means “where is the prince?

The name itself challenges authority, questioning where the man is or implying who needs one, the feminine is here. Not really sure, I am not a Hebrew scholar…yet.

In most communities being named Jezebel is “trouble” and I must say I live up to that.

My recent dilemma has my thongs in quite a pinch. I want another man. Yes, another one. I have two and they are pulling me from one side to the other like their favorite doll.

I did not start out wanting three men although my short attention span often keeps me in new relationships. I get bored really quickly and I travel a lot. Hooking up with a new Boo in a new city is exhilarating.

My Mama says that is Thotism. I tell her it is freeism. I am on birth control and they must always use a condom.

I have never raw dogged in my life. Never. And I only suck one dick so see, I am a hoe with some rules. She just shakes her head and swear I am going to hell. Mama doesn’t know that we are living in hell.

Bless her heart.

I decided years ago that I do not want any children. I make a really great Auntie and I love my nieces and nephews. They are pure joy and when I want to be immersed and overwhelmed with that joy I visit. When I want my Thotism back, I go home.

I met Sam in New York City. He followed me for two blocks before mustering up hello. I had my taser in hand ready to zap him but he finally shouted, “Pretty lady, wait. Will you give me a few seconds of your time?”

I did. That was three years ago. We sat in Central Park under the stars and found a tree to make love under. Well, we found a tree for me to ride him under. I had 4 orgasms in 20 minutes… he was good. We were good.

We vowed to keep in touch and we did. Chicago is a very short flight and we see each other every other weekend. Sam is sweet and sensitive. He is endearing and honest. He even randomly pays bills, something that I do not want him to do but he cannot help himself.

Then I met Gerald, who I call G. G is Chicago homegrown with all the flyness of R. Kelly without the pervert and pissing energy. I met him in the grocery store parking lot. My car battery was dead and he gave me a jump. We exchanged numbers and we talked my ride home. He wanted to make sure I made it safely and we have been talking on my ride homes ever since.

I can honestly say that I love G and Sammy. Two very different men who give me exactly what I need. G, however; is getting a little possessive and I do not do possessive.

At first G was all Chi-town cool with it. He had a girl and I had Sam and then about a year ago, the cool in him turned sweet on me and he wanted me to end it with Sammy.

Well, that is big fat NO. G has to accept me and Sam or let it go. He opted no to let me go.

Sammy and I are a forever thing. No ring or anything, that is just my baby. I am sweet on him for a ton of reasons. One, he was really the first man that could handle and respect my lifestyle and the way I live it and I respect his. For his last birthday, he wanted a threesome in Cuba. I gave him one but I was not in it. I do not like women and I do not want to see my dude with another chic.

No thanks.

Do all of that over “there” because if he go to deep and she moan “that” moan I am going to be ready to fight so no, nope and hell no.

My week-ends are my man-ends. As chief writer and editor for Bitch Switch Magazine, I do not have a whole lot of cuddle time but when I do, I want either one of these two.

So why do I want to add another dude to the mix?

I met Titus a few months ago and we have a blast together. He is a freelance photographer for the magazine and we spend a lot of work time together. We went dancing last night after work and he moves really, really good and we move even better together and now I want to…

But my personal rule is that Sammy and Gerald have to know and they have to be okay. I already know that they won’t be and that is going to be a problem for me because I do not want to let either of them go and I am not sure if Titus is worth the risk but since when did I start living my life on other peoples terms?

-2 B Continued

Dana Lena

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