On His Lips

I had no idea what I was (as far as the worlds label) until I found myself wandering around in a book. From the time I can remember, I was challenging patriarchy and restrictions on women.

As a little girl, I would chastise my father on his dealings with women. Reminding him that the pretty woman at the lunch counter at Woolworths, had a name. “Daddy, her name tag says Susie, stop calling her baby”.

It was during country visits to Mississippi where I noticed that my grandmother worked three jobs. Her job helping Mrs. Ann and the jobs she did at home before and after Mrs. Ann. I asked my mother why didn’t granddad do any of the housework only for her to quote Manalations 1:1 to me. “Men do not do house work”.

It irritated the hell out of me that my grandfather sat down and read the paper and listened to baseball on the radio. I never saw my grandmother sit down and relax. I never saw her read anything other than her bible.

I did not like the way women were treated and I did not like that men told women what to do. I knew that at two but I did not know there was a name for not liking it and wanting to do something about it.

The world, the living, breathing energy is FEMINISM.

I promise you, I had never heard the word uttered.

Not at school, on the bus, in the store, at church and certainly not at home.

I have 5 older sisters. I lived with my mother. There were a host of aunts and girlfriends in my families village and I had never heard a single conversation about advancing women’s rights.

I had heard repeatedly, “Girl, he ain’t shit”. But there was never a plan to change it or change themselves.

One day, I discovered Cosmopolitain magazine and my world opened up.

My sister Gwendolyn (Gwen) was into horoscopes and loved fashion, music and perfume so my mother allowed her to have these magazines because all my mother saw were pretty pictures and ads.

Gwen at 14, was being courted by a big time drug dealer, King and she thought she was grown and by 16 she was gone. He moved her out of my mothers house and into a mixed use space that had apartments on the second floor and retail shops on the first.

The signature shop was a record store which my sister managed. She loved records. At 16, she was his and the face of a business with drugs in its ass.

The money King put in my mother’s hand made her look the other way to the child sex trafficking element. King was in his 40’s and this was the late 70’s.

My mother needed her ass kicked for that. She sold my sister but she never saw it that way and if she were alive, she would slap the taste out of my mouth if I dared to say this to her.

I am almost 50 so I would dare to tell my mother that she sold my sister to the hoods version of a Kingpin and I would be wiping the blood out of my mouth as a result.

Some smacks are worth it.

My mother came from an era where women had to align themselves with men with money in order to survive and in Mississippi, girls were wives by the time they were Gwen’s age so I am sure she justified her decision in her mind on some kind of level.

Back to topic.

Gwen’s Cosmo magazines gave me life!

The only thing she read were the horoscopes but I read the articles, over and over again.

When I landed in college for the first time, I took all the Women Studies courses my schedule would allow and this is when I figured out I was some kind of feminist and years later, wrote poetically about my journey.

I never really fit into the traditional feminist sect because I am Jesus girl and I love men/sex. Sex with men. Not dildo masturbation. I am not a didlo girl.

If the dick is not connected to a body, with a waist that rotates, breath that pants, a voice that whispers my name, hips that thrust, a back that arches, legs whose weight anchors me to the bed, or floor, or wherever; I am not interested.

There is a group of women who are feminist that hate men, disregard men and have no need for men and therefore self pleasure is necessary for them and because I like Real Man Dick, they were always looking at me crazy.

A feminist woman told me that I could not be a legitimate feminist because I have never been sexually intimate with a woman.

Girl, bye!

What does the taste of another woman’s pussy have to do with feminism? Which is:

a range of social movements, political movements, and ideologies that aim to define, establish, and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes.


Simply stated, a feminist is a person who champions for equality of the sexes in every conceivable and possible way. Feminist are male, female, men, women, straight, gay, bi, trans, fluid and just human.

A good human wants everyone to be treated equally and fairly.

Atheism also has a strong prescence and I understand why. The monotheistic religions have some recorded writings that are very misogynistic and down right hateful towards women. If you do not separate the actions, deeds and thoughts of man from the Spirit of God, one will be a whole lot of “If God exists, I do not want anything to do with him/it/her/them”.

And many feminist especially the mothers of the movement, wanted no parts of God especially if referenced in the masculine.

I get it.

However; it is this type of cultism within the feminist existence that hurts the feminist movement. The ridiculousness that is screamed from the rafters has absolutely nothing to do with equality.

I told the misguided soul who I think was really flirting with me in a passive aggressive way, that she was wrong about me. I indeed had tasted pussy and as her eyes lit up with delight, I declared “mine. My pussy on his lips and on the tip of his tongue”.


I thought she was going to fall in the floor and just die. I think my pinned tweet sums my position up quite nicely,

As I was able to pen in my book, I am multidimensional and I have some dichotomies and that is okay. It makes for interesting.

There is room in our lives for us to be who we are and there is room on the front line of life to fight for what we believe is right. We cannot allow anyone to hijack a movement and shape it into their image or into the image they want it to be.

Feminism is a range of social movements, political movements, and ideologies that aim to define, establish, and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes, particularly lifting women up to where men are.

As a feminist, I will continue to stand and advocate for equality and I will do it believing in my God and enjoying the company and partnership of my man.

I do try to keep God and man separate. I try really hard not to scream “Oh- God- Yes-Yes-Yes” when…

Something about that just doesn’t sit well with the Jesus girl in me.

Just sacrilege.

-Dana Lena


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