I woke up this morning feeling the way I did on September 11, 2001. I was pregnant with my first child as I watched a plane hit the a second tower on the news in New York City.
Tears streamed down my face.
My father was dying of cancer and I was hundreds of miles away. Living in Miami and managing an asset that I had been recruited to work my majic for.
I did not believe in majic therefore was unaware that I had any. All I did know was that I did what I said I was going to do and my professional track record in the housing industry revealed that.
So as I sat huddled in my office surrounded by my staff, I began to weap because for the the first time in my thirty year life, I was feeling the anguish of a mother. Never before had I thought about my decisions as a mother, just a woman and I was one selfish ass, self serving bitch.
There I was, feeling the thunderous yet beautiful kicks of my son and wondering if I should have had that abortion. What kind of world was I bringing a child into?
A different kind of crazy had just flew two planes into buildings in New York City. War had been declared on American soil and I was full on anguish. My God, had I made a mistake? Was some kind of terror aimed for the shores of Miami?
18 years later, I can say with certainty, I did not make a mistake.
The beauty who is my beloved first born, Evan Fitzgerald brings me tremendous joy and he shares that joy with others.
Quite the musician already. I look at him and I am thrilled to be his Ma.
Motherhood changed my life. Evan changed me. I would be a different kind of lost without him and his sister.
But here we are. He was born right after tragedy, and will not experience a traditional prom during his graduating year because we are in a pandemic. I told him the other day that some in his generation will do something extraordinary. These kind of challenges, do not flank the ordinary.
I also was thinking about the state of A M E R I C A and how fragile and dependent we really are. Our medical community was grossly underprepared for this pandemic. They did not and many still do not have appropriate protective gear.
A 5-year-old of two Detroit first responders died of complications from C19 and I know her parents are stricken with doubt and uncertainty. Did their desire to save others put the life of their own child at risk?
That is heavy.
Life in America has changed.
Over 30 million American’s lost their jobs in 30 days. States are on the verge of bankruptcy. Some businesses have closed, never to reopen. Food lines are lanes long. Children have been out of school for over a month, many starving.
Many were only one paycheck away from financial peril, a commute away from identity and a happy hour away from laughter.
Domestic terrorist are on the front steps of capitols demanding that States re-open because they have a god-given right to work and stay at home orders are the equivalent of slavery.
America has lost a great deal & normal is being redefined. What we steal, kill, lie & destroy 2 obtain will rebel. The blanket of prosperity & abundance is being snatched off. People are hungry & medical personnel dont have face masks. We have never been who we said we were. Everhttps://twitter.com/iam_danalena
This Tweet got me to more thinking.
The American White Person who feels that they have a god given right to… are the decendants of those horrid people who felt that God had sanctioned American Slavery.
With every acre of land they stole, they thanked God. After every rape, they thanked God. After every slave auction, they thanked God. After every murdered Native American, they thanked God. After every girl child they made a wife, they thanked God.
After sodomozing and shaming the African man, they thanked God. After raping Africa of every natural precious resource, they thanked God. After every lynching, they thanked God. After every KKK rally, they thank God.
They have shaped the Spirit of Creation into themselves. They have made GOD into a lying, murderous, thieving, rapist!
But most of us know God.
We saw God in Jesus. We saw God in Ghandi. We saw God in Buddha.
We saw God in Theresa. We saw God in King. We saw God in Obama. We know God and we know evil.
The darkness who has disguised himself as light is being exposed.
It is now undeniable.
A M E R I C A is facing her reckoning and quite a reckoning it is. We are being called as a people, as a nation to amend ALL of our wrongs.
Will A M E R I C A do the right thing or will she crash and burn?
Will she give back land? Pay reparations? Open our borders, release kids from cages and throw the cages away?
Will A M E R I C A shut down the prison business, end unfair sentencing and pay more for education than prison sentences? Will her law enforcers stop killing brown people in the name of fear, under the guise of some crime or threat was imminent?
Will A M E R I C A stop marrying children to men and end the nightmare that is sex trafficking for millions of people?
Will she stop groping and harassing women, snatching pussy and pay women the same as men?
Will A M E R I C A mind her own business and stop telling other nations what to do, martying her daughter’s and son’s in the process?
Will she apologize to Mother Africa and her descendants for raping her and mistreating her children and commit to real equality?
Either America will get it right or the Universe will get her right. It looks like the latter is happening.
This won’t be pretty.