I was communicating with my great niece not to long ago and she was lamenting about the fact that her father, my nephew has spent her entire life in prison.
Dancing in her head were all the family and school functions he missed along with her growth and development. She is convinced that she has made the choice in men she has because she was missing his love. There may be some truth to that but I think the enemy of her soul has magnified it.
Yes, we need love but it is inconsequential who that love comes from.
I pointed her in the direction of her littlest cousin, Hannah. Hannah was not really missing her biological father until he re-emerged in her life for the third time when she was seven.
Prior to that, I had done a great job of protecting her from his absence but when he re-emerged this last time and was escorted out for the final time, she was hurt.
We (her tribe) spent a significant amount of time applying salve to her wounds. Loving her with purpose and intention and ensuring she knew she would be better than okay and the man who I had started dating shortly after her biological’s exit, stepped up and is showing out.
When Hannah decided she wanted to change her last name, I knew she was on the road to authentic healing. Then, they decided they would have some kind of “you are now my daughter” ceremony and I was like okay, they are serious.
And when she changed his name from god-dad to Dad in her phone that was the covenant clincher. Hannah was determined to fill the void her biological left in her life and seizes every opportunity to build with her new and improved DAD.
I watched them make a gingerbread house yesterday. He has a grown step daughter and a 16 year old son and was thrilled to be doing something for the first time with her. He was beaming. She was beaming. I was humbled and my heart simply over joyed.
It was at this moment, I thought about marrying him but I quickly snapped out of it. I no longer make emotionally rooted decisions but I am grateful for the courage of these two extraordinary people.
I am thankful that my 11 year old daughter had the courage, wisdom and forsight to create what she wanted and needed and I am thankful that this very special man is capable and willing to deliver.
The moral of this story is that life may not always deal us the hand we want but we are capable of re-shuffling those cards and buying a new deck if we need to. Hannah is a testament to this fact.
I love him.
I love her.
And all is well in my soul.
Penning our Journey+