The Autocracy of Choice: You will be just fine

Those are the words I uttered to a 18 year old girl-woman who is pregnant. Perplexed, scared and confused. Not sure if she wants to be have a child, knowing for sure she is not ready to be anyone’s mother.

She asked me what I would do if I were her.

I refused to answer the question crafted that way.

I told her that she needed to do what she thought was best for her. I asked if she was happy or feeling any joy about the pregnancy? Was she full of excitement or agony? Was guilt playing any role in the way she was feeling? Was fear, lack, or confusion influencers?

What I know for sure is we know what is best for us and we know what to do. That clarity never comes from outside of us. It comes from within us and it does not require a democratic vote.

Our lives are not a democratic process. We have to learn to trust our own voice and create our own path.

We are our lives dictators. Women are autocrats over our bodies and our choices. Rulers having absolute power over our earth….our beings.

When I said this to her she looked at me bewildered. She had never seen herself that way….having absolute power of all things her. She had never heard a woman make such a bold declaration.

I believe my words help her to see part of her way. We sat a little longer talking about who and what she wanted to be when we she grew up. We laughed about the sperm donor who had blocked her number as soon as she missed a period and how that would be a bum she would never be able to depend on.

She asked me how a dude could be so disconnected from a pregnancy he was partly responsible for. Little girl-woman, if I had the answer to that question I would be rich, #1 on the best selling authors list ten years in a row.

Who knows, but this I know they are completely non-factors and irrelevant. If she was going to have a baby she would be just fine and if she wasn’t she would be just fine. She had everything in her toolbox she needed to be an amazing mother or not.

The choice was hers to make and the road hers to walk. I admonished her to listen to her own soul and do what it told her to do.

As we parted, I reminded her that before she could ever trust her mother, she would have to trust her woman.

She needed to spend some time in her kingdom learning to rule.

-Dana Lena’

Penning the Journey

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