Ya’ll already know that I am a champion for companionship and covenant relationships. Equitable partnerships are beautiful and we benefit from suitable companions who positively contribute to our lives.
There is nothing like the magic that happens when two people who are truly God created equals come together to rule, reign, war, love and produce.
As a woman, there is no greater joy than to birth blessings for my partner. There is nothing like taking the seeds he provides and producing a beautiful harvest. A harvest that reproduces time and time again. A harvest that not only feeds us but feeds others.
However; with that being said I do not have any interest in legalized marriage…at least the way it is done in this country. I made the decision shortly after coming out of my mothers womb that I would never adopt another mans name, neither would I be any mans property.
There is a sense of ownership men have over women after they become wives that simply does not work for me. I love being an individual. I love my homes, my vehicles, my space. It all comes with a beautiful freedom that I have no intention of ever relinquishing. Irregardless of what I may utter during moments of passion.
When I hit the floor, all bets are off.
I absolutely enjoy hanging out at his house, him hanging out at mine and this thing called GOING HOME. Going home allows me the opportunity to continue to cultivate my own space and grow.
Cohabitation is usually the response for struggling folk. Some people move in together because it is financially feasible to do so and not necessarily because it is the best thing to do. That is why I am always preaching how important it is for women particularly to be financially sound and thriving.
Another decision I came to is that my little girl deserves to be FREE in her home. She walks around sometimes naked (truly a mini me). Sometimes she has on just her underwear on and other times just a tee shirt.
She also has the option to sleep in my bed if she needs to, wants to or if she has a bad dream. My bedroom door is never closed as it is my policy to entertain outside of the eye and ear gate of my children.
I provide freedom for her that male energy would encroach upon. She will develop freely without having to burden herself with altering her behavior or being because Mommy’s man is in the house.
Sure, this puts a little inconvenience on the intimate realm of my relationship. It requires abandoning some things I would enjoy on a daily basis but when I made the decision to become a parent, I made the decision to sacrafice.
I do not want my little girl waking up seeing a man in my bed. I believe bed space in front of children is reserved for husbands and their biological fathers…only.
One of my house rules.
Being a mother truly helps to put in perspective WHAT MATTERS MOST and what matters most is being free and ensuring that my little girl is free.
Especially at home.