Let’s be real. People, for the most part don’t like to be told what to do. Usually we seek advice when our backs are up against the wall or when we want someone to agree with us, in which case we call that favorite friend who will agree with us no matter what simply because they like us. I don’t like telling people what to do. Typically when a friend comes to me and says, “Tell me what you think…” I clinch my jaw tightly and butterflies begin to do a little dance in my stomach because I know that they usually don’t want to REALLY hear what I think. I still preface whatever I am going to say with the question, “Are you SURE you want me to tell you the truth?” just to get their permission to be totally and completely honest. Today I am not going to offer you advice. Nope. I am just going to tell you what’s working for me in the hopes that it will either confirm that you are on the right track or get you to see your life differently because IT. IS. TIME. TO. MOVE….
I just celebrated a birthday, and it started with a friend challenging me to see some of the things that were going on my mind from a different perspective. I was happy that a birthday was beginning that way because although I had never considered what he said before, I knew that it was truth, and I knew that in order to make the kind of changes that I need in my life, I needed to embrace the truth even though it was not the most beautiful thing to grasp. It wasn’t warm and fuzzy or a treasure to my taste buds like Dove chocolate, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. So what does all of this mean to you? I am glad that you asked. I am going to gift you with the same thing he gifted to me- a dose of hard core TRUTH. The difficulty in that, my friend, is that you may not necessarily want to hear it, but it’s like Will Smith once said, “The truth is like surgery; it hurts but it heals“, and I will risk the fact that you may dislike it or dislike me for saying it because IT. IS. TIME. TO. MOVE….
Within the last two months, I have lost two students to murder. One was a former student who I had years ago, and the other was a current 16 year-old student killed by his friend. Stomaching those harsh realities yet celebrating the blessing of another year of life simultaneously could not have come at a better time. It helped me to re calibrate my focus and take the time to stop to ask myself some serious questions, which brings me to my point. WHAT IS YOUR PLAN TO GET WHERE YOU WANT TO BE? I am pretty sure that I am correct in saying that NO ONE wakes up in the morning with the mindset to intentionally “fail” or be “stuck”. EVERYONE wants to WIN, but who wants to really WORK? It is time out for excuses, blame, shame, laziness and ignorance. Let me break each one down so you can really get it.
EXCUSES– If you want it bad enough, you will find a way. If you don’t, you will find an excuse. If you want the business, want the weight loss, want the raise, want the degree, want the healing- WHATEVER you want, you must be willing to put away the excuses and GO FOR IT! The blessing is there waiting for you to come and get it, but you will never even advance in its direction if you are still held hostage by excuses.
BLAME– Who are you blaming for your current circumstance? Who have you let hijack your emotional life because you think he or she caused you to be in the position that are in now? LISTEN! You must take back your power! Even if someone else’s decision caused you heartache or was the reason why you may be in the predicament that you are in NOW, you have the power NOW- right where you are- to make a decision to GROW then GO in the direction that will lead you to where you need to be positioned for the next great thing in your life!! You will never move in the direction of your dreams if you keep blaming people. BLAME KEEPS YOU BOUND, and it is too heavy of a load for you to carry into the next phase of your life.
SHAME– You have made some decisions that were not good. They may have even affected you and the ones you love in very negative ways. Bad decisions may have cost you a friendship, a promotion, your marriage, your integrity or money. TRUTH, BUT…how has carrying shame benefitted you so far? How has it helped you to forgive yourself and move forward with powerful lessons that you will need in the next phase of your life? IT HASN’T!!! It is time for you to forgive yourself and move forward. Now let me say that forgiving ourselves is no easy task. It is hard work, but the work is worth it. You must be able to push past what you have DONE to see the amazing, talented person that God says you ARE. Don’t limit who you are to the bad mistakes that you have made. You must see beyond the mistake so that you can move on. Get the help you need in order to forgive yourself and change your habits- if it is an addiction or character flaw that you are dealing with and use the lessons that you have learned for the future that awaits you.
LAZINESS– Let’s be real. Some people want the dream but are too lazy to put in the work. They want the nice physique, but they don’t want to go to the gym. They want the millionaire bank account, but they don’t want to start investing and stop spending. They want love, but they don’t want to go to a therapist to get healed from past hurts so that they are able to love and receive love again. They want to be a starter in the game, but they don’t want to come to practice. NEWSFLASH: You do not get the WIN without the WORK. Your life will be the result of how much work you decided it was worth to put in. Many times we envy or admire people who may seem to have more than we do when in fact they are where they are because they were willing to work a little harder than the next person.
IGNORANCE– We know where to find information. In the technology age, it is almost impossible to remain ignorant or in the dark about any subject. Finding information is not the problem. The problem is we don’t know what we don’t know. In other words, if I am not aware that there is information that I need to know, I won’t look for it. It may not be obvious that there is something that I need to know so I can potentially miss out on opportunities to learn. This is why it is important to connect with a mentor and/or be around people who are “sharper” than we are and be around people who are where we one day want to be in our fields of work and study. Instead of being intimidated by people who know more than we do, we should intentionally build relationships with them so that we have people who can get us to the next level in our immediate circle.
I don’t want you to finish reading this article and miss my point. You may have even read what I am going to say in another piece that I have written, but it is worth repeating. You have been gifted with something GREAT– an idea, a business, a ministry, an invention, a movement- SOMETHING, but it is up to YOU to move on it. You, yes YOU, are the solution to someone’s problem. YOU are the light in someone’s darkness. YOU are the cream in someone’s coffee (I had to stick that in there; I love coffee), and it is time to do away with any excuses that could hold you back from being the person that God has designed you to be.
MAKE A LIST OF YOUR NEXT BEST STEPS.
GET A PLAN TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU CAN DO WITHOUT CONCERN ABOUT WHAT YOU CANNOT DO.
GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY.
There is a world that needs you and a world that is cheering you on! I am cheering you on. It’s time for YOU to be your biggest cheerleader. IT. IS. TIME. TO. MOVE.