ARE YOU SINGLE? An Open Letter from a free woman.

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“Are you single? I do not want to disrespect another man”.

I have been getting this question a lot lately.

I am not married so that makes single my legal status. Because I am not married, I do not govern myself how most married women are expected to govern themselves. I am single and I am grown. That means, I develop, engage and foster relationships with people as I see fit. Period. Because I am a free woman, I determine who I talk to, when and why and will share this information with whoever I decide to…or not.

My dating or marital status does not impose restrictions on me. It does not govern solely what I can and cannot do. What I will and will not do. As a free woman, I govern myself how I see fit and will offer information as I see fit.

No one owns me.

No one tells me what to do and when I can do it.

No one set parameters for my conduct.

That is my sole responsibility.

Now, in a relationship my partner and I decide together what our commitment level is and what our rules of engagement are. Under no circumstances, will I ever and I mean ever be in a relationship with any man who feels because he has a penis he is in charge.

F O O L I S H N E S S .

I own my life and my rights to it. Forever.


I make compromises that do not betray my personage or my soul. 

With that being said, if someone has something that they want to share with me, expose me to or bring me up to speed on, please do so. I do not get permission slips from the man or men in my life for SHIT.

My son told me today, that his teacher Dr. Graves has a sign in her room that says, “Well behaved women do not make history”. He said he laughed and immediately thought of me. I said, “You know your mother”.

I am not trying to make history. I am just living my life unfiltered and uncensored.

I have never danced to anyone else’s music neither do I have any interest in tap dancing to some Negro’s beat.

Not my thing.

I am open however to sharing the brilliance that I am…and do so gleefully in whatever capacity I see fit and with who I see fit. I am like air. I cannot be boxed in. To love me is to know what is known and to trust what we have…for real for real.

I hope this corrects the record.

So to my fellas that got something to bring to my attention…bring it. I will say Yes, NO or Maybe. I am a big girl and I AM the boss of me.



D. Lena
All About Auspicious Living

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