Life is beautiful.
As women, we are taught that we need some man to ride in and save the day. We need him to honor us with marriage. We need to take his name so we can belong. We need to accommodate who he is and who he needs to become at the cost of crucifying who we are and who we need to become.
We need him to buy us houses, give us rings and make us scream.
Lies, lies and more lies.
As a woman, I have achieved what I wanted to achieve.
I have a man in my life that honors me, loves me, adores me, needs me and wants me. He loses his breath when I come into the room and needs to be damn near resuscitated when I am naked.
I am naked a lot. I love being naked.
We each own our homes and he goes home to his and I go home to mine. It works for us. I do not need to be on top of him everyday to love him and he does not have to have me in his eye gate all of the time to love me. Neither of us have “mommy or daddy” issues that require a maternal or paternal type of attention.
Our kids have play dates and sleep overs. Pajama parties and game nights. His family is loving, kind, compassionate and graceful. My daughter has inherited grandparents that absolutely adore her. My son has another mentor.
One of the greatest things about our brand of covenant living is that we allow each other the space to be. The space to grow. The opportunity to bask in our own sun.
After the dissolution of a previous relationship, I was crystal clear about the kind of relationship I was going to be in. When that relationship ended, I said NO to a lot of possibilities because we had different ideas of what “love” looked like and there are things to compromise but those things are never “essence or being” things.
Sure, you compromise on what color tile to put in a kitchen, what movie to see, where to go for dinner, but you do not compromise on respect, honor, sanctity. You do not compromise person, spirit, self.
I am a free thinker and a very spirited person. I enjoy spontaneity and may decide today to move around my schedule to go to out of town for a few days next week. I can not, will not be checking schedules and getting permission slips from my man to go anywhere I want to go.
I knew this man was my one when I said, “I am going to…..” . I booked my ticket and the kids and I will be gone until…” He said ” Cool .What time does the plane leave so I can get ya’ll to the airport on time? ”
It was a test.
Surprised, I was but thrilled.
No push back, no fuss, no extra. No pouting. No explaining. No insecurity in a “you do not want me to come?”
When we were talking about the trip later, I was standing in his kitchen washing dishes. He walked up behind me and placed his hands around my waist and said he would never hold me back or stop me from going anywhere I wanted to go. He trusted that obviously this was an experience I wanted to have with just the kids and he would be right there when I got back.
Okay. The sexiest shit ever.
I just want to say who you need, what you need and how you need it is out there. We do not have to settle. Compromise. Twist. Turn and lose ourselves in order to love someone else.
Be busy loving you and the one who will love you the way you love you …will come.
-D.L.P. Auspicious Living Magazine **WIE