I was listening to a very popular radio show and they were asking if non custodial parents should be given an account of how child support is allocated. It was a very sad discussion that revealed just how disconnected some non custodial parents are from their children and the parent whose care they are in every day of their lives.

This is a non custodial parents  account of child support.


A healthy, happy, successful, balanced, school attending, all shots to date child!

Even during periods of visitation, the custodial parent is still on the hook for the health and well being of the child. Let something happen to a child during a period of visitation and the custodial parent is raked over very hot coals about what they knew and when.

The Federal Poverty Level in 2017 was $12,060.  If a non custodial parent contributes less than $1005.00 a month in child support, they are providing an impoverished level of support!

Poverty is defined as the state or condition of having little or no money, goods, or means of support; condition of being poor. … Poverty denotes serious lack of the means for proper existence. So in my opinion, both parents should be required and I mean required to pay a level of support that supports a child living well above the poverty level.

It is amazing how ignit people brag about $600, $700, $800, $900 monthly child support orders.


A child can not live independently on that.

Well, they can.

In a box. Under a bridge and eating out of garbage cans.


Any amount of child support less than what it takes for a person (kids are people) to live independently successfully is comical and insulting.

My daughters father once told me that his child support keeps a roof over my head.

Can you hear my laughter? But this is coming from a man that “pays on” bills as opposed to paying off bills.

I digress.

  1. His child support is LESS than my house payment and surely if I sent that in every month, I would have been foreclosed on in 90 days (house notes are due in FULL)
  2. A house has to have utilities.
  3. A house has to be maintained (repairs…I do not have a landlord)
  4. A house has to be furnished and replenished
  5. There has to be food in the fridge and cabinets
  6. A vehicle has to be available to take children to and from
  7. Money has to be allocated for activities and school events
  8. Clothing has to be purchased at least monthly
  9. Kids have to have moderate entertainment
  10. I have to live in an area that has good schools (higher taxes)
  11. Living in neighborhood that supports outside play is important (higher taxes)
  12. Money is set aside for higher education (umm hmm)
  13. Let’s not to fail to mention the physical and emotional wear and tear on custodial parents

Now, child support is designed to ASSIST the custodial parent with providing the above for children. Not unless a non custodial parent is paying a mid five figure monthly order, the claim of “taking care of” someone is a figment of a delusional man/woman’s imagination.

So if we find ourselves in this quagmire, let us know this. If the child is in the other parents custody, it was determined by law, agreement or God that is the best parent and place for that child.

If that parent is providing for and meeting the needs of the child, go sat down somewhere and be grateful that you created life with someone that loves and takes care of your seed. If that is not the case, then do what you need to do so YOU can have total responsibility for the health and well being for that precious being. Custodial Parents always have the right to make the final decision because custodial parents are what?


Otherwise, try to be a big boy or girl and do whatever you can to make the life of the custodial parent easier, healthier and peaceful. Trust me, we are busy tapping into our Parenting Power daily and shaping the lives of humans!

We are not interested in your RA RA about the amount of child support you pay.

I promise you, unless you are Michael Jordon, whatever the hell you pay ain’t enough.

And to my wonderful, supportive, loving, consistent, present, engaged, whole, healed and fabulous non custodial parents, we appreciate you and we need you and to those DYNAMIC and amazing Step Parents/God Parents that step in and help with the heavy lifting, thank you.

Thank you!

Please take the misguided souls hand and led them in the way.  Be the example that the “I pay $802.21 in child support”, biological needs and remind them that if it were not for the custodial parent, this is where their  child would be.


Nothing like a healthy dose of reality for the disenchanted and delusional.

Keep this number in mind.

$1005 a month. $12,060 a year. Federal Poverty Level. 

Now govern thinking and conversations accordingly.

Dana Lena'
Publisher/Senior Writer
Auspicious Living Magazine

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