Yesterday was THAT day. You know- the day when anxiously awaiting women blasted social media to let everyone know to change their status from girlfriend to fiance. It was the day that some husbands just happened to look at the roses on the secretary’s desk and be reminded that they didn’t get their wives any token of appreciation for all the years of love and commitment between them. It was the day that traffic was a little more congested because all the delivery trucks were attempting to make it to their destinations before noon because that is what the commercial promises: “Don’t leave her waiting for hours! We deliver fresh flowers!” It was also the day that women avoided the lure of Instagram and Facebook because, heaven forbid, that they would see their worst enemy getting engaged for the second time after only having dated for six months, while they were still waiting to get into a halfway committed relationship for the first time after a breakup. Yeah, Facebook is right when it says “it’s complicated”… And this is all centered around LOVE…Or is it?
I would venture to say that many Americans- both single and “taken”- took a moment yesterday to think about LOVE. How could we not? Every commercial, every song, every decoration- from the hearts plastered neatly on the window of our offices to the cupid shaped cookies in the bakery aisle- make it nearly impossible NOT to think about “it”. LOVE. Whether we have it, are on an intense (or casual) search for it or are happily engulfed in all of its drama and delight- we all stopped and thought about LOVE. Many people’s notions, especially men who either don’t enjoy shopping for the holiday or just aren’t particularly sold on celebrating the day, believe that Valentine’s Day is just a commercial holiday that is really about making money. The timeless “reasons” for not celebrating the holiday of “I don’t need a man to tell me when to celebrate my wife” or “I show her that I love her every day! One day doesn’t really mean anything” drip from men’s lips as easily as milk from a baby’s mouth. Yet, no matter where we stand on the validity of Valentine’s Day to be the one day to celebrate love, we all are somehow entangled with it in some form or fashion, if we are honest with ourselves.
As I continue to learn to embrace the journey that God has uniquely designed for me, I know one things is for certain: minding my mind is crucial. It is necessary to think about what I am thinking about on a daily basis. Valentine’s Day is no different. As a single woman- a divorced women- who longs to be married again one day, I could choose to see Valentine’s Day as a day exclusively for lovers. In my mind, it could be a day only for those who love had deemed worthy enough to “choose” to call her own. In my mind, it could be a solemn day because of my “status”, and knowing this, I could easily look downward when passing the loving couple wrapped arm in arm on their way to, in my mind, dinner at a fancy restaurant with tablecloths and food on the menu that I couldn’t pronounce. In my mind, it could be the day that I couldn’t wait to come simply because I couldn’t wait for it to be over. That was my story. My story changed when I took ownership and decided that although the media pushes one definition of love at me subliminally, I still had the choice to define love for myself. I could celebrate love in its truest, rawest, most pure form understanding that God is the epitome of LOVE. He is LOVE. He loves me and desires for me to love myself in a healthy way so that I can then love others. The worldly standard of love that says the more Facebook friends you have, the more likes and retweets you get and the more you are hailed as the next great wonder woman or the next power couple, THEN THE MORE YOU ARE LOVED. But by who and says who?
Lack of flowers and cards and candy does not signify a lack of love. It only does if you let it. Being single or unattached isn’t a death sentence on THAT day. It is only if you let it. Loving yourself, pampering yourself, affirming yourself and treating yourself well, especially on THAT day, isn’t weird. It is only if you think it. It doesn’t matter if you are single or married…Looking or learning to love again…Healing or hurting…Dreaming or doubting…Whether you celebrate THAT day not, when you think of Valentine’s Day, think of LOVE. Submerge yourself in the warm thoughts of love that surround you in your family, loved ones, friends and more importantly the love you have for yourself. Define the day! Define each day! YOU have the power to do that! Embrace love every day in every way and do as Aberjhani suggests and “Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.” What does LOVE have to do with it? The same thing it has to do with YOU– EVERYTHING.
-C.Mack Auspicious Living Magazine